The Spending Gremlin

Don’t be fooled, we all have one.

There I was, standing in the middle of Sephora last weekend, poised to buy way more skincare than I needed. I looked down at the mini Sephora-branded basket I had in my hand, and seemingly out of nowhere it had been filled with products I didn’t recognize. I paused and thought: “Where did these items come from?” 

20 minutes earlier I entered the store with a set goal: purchase the two items I needed and get the heck out of there. Overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff in the Vanity Cave (aka Sephora), I asked a “beauty advisor” where I might find the items I needed. Instantly, I was lulled by her siren’s song.

As we walked around the store, this “advisor” (some may call a sales rep) handed me the above referenced mini basket for the items quickly piling up in my hands. Her spell was cast, I went momentarily brain dead. She awoke my inner spending gremlin. 

Standing there, waiting to pay for items I didn’t need, I regained consciousness. With difficulty, I refused the additional items at check-out. Leaving the store I was struck by how easy it was for me to go on auto-pilot and not pay attention to what I was doing. I ventured to the Vanity Cave in search of skincare products, but I left with a question: what the heck happened?

Meet My Gremlin

Ahhh yes, the spending gremlin. It may come as a complete shock, but I made this term up. 

The spending gremlin is the weird-o part of my brain that seems to act of its own accord whenever I spend money. Every time I buy something (anything), my brain often gets hijacked by a senseless, drooling gremlin that wants to consume all things. Even if I have a goal, and I know what I need to buy, my spending gremlin is there, waiting under the surface to buy everything if I just give into it.

This is Fiona, my spending gremlin.

For me it’s a gremlin, for others it might be a convincing voice clearly articulating rational arguments for purchasing things you don’t need. We all have something in us that’s lured by the promise of a better life if we just purchase THAT one thing.

Not As Simple As: “The Marketing Made Me Do It”

As a relatively spend conscious individual, my experience last weekend made me pause. I mean, even with a good amount of awareness and a solid game plan, my gremlin was activated and I was ready to fork over a ton of my money for the promise of youth, beauty and smaller pores. What the fuzzy-nuts is up with that?

I decided to look into the matter to try to understand what exactly happened. And though a large part of my brain was screaming: “Jill, it’s just the marketing,” what I discovered was a bit more nuanced.

Like most things in life, the reason why we’re a spend happy bunch is more complex than simply “because of marketing.”  

Keeping Up With Those Damn Jones’

Though I’d like to think we’ve advanced past spending our money as a way to keep up with other people, turns out we haven’t. Part of the reason we spend our money is to keep pace with those around us. As the socially connected and reliant species we are, we look to others to make meaning, and we compare ourselves to others all the dang time. When we find a group of people we like and want to be like, they become our reference group.

With the progression of technology and social media over the last two decades, we're now exposed to increasingly diverse groups of people. Our reference groups have grown from our neighbours and communities to celebrities and socialites to now literally anyone around the world. When we see traits, behviours and material items that these people have we want to emulate them. We want to emulate their social status. 

There are a bunch of push and pull factors for why we do this sort of thing, but belonging and connection are huge components. Sometimes we rationalize decisions that may not suit us because everyone else is doing it. It can feel treacherous to go against the group, and it takes a lot of effort to do so. 

Interestingly enough, our purchases are often influenced in much the same way. We want to belong, and we want to signal to others that we’re part of certain groups. We want to identify and attract those who are similar to us. 

But there’s more! Oh yes, we are influenced by other things we barely know and rarely think of. Like our needs.

Maslow, You Devil, You

Lord knows I rarely travel through life consciously thinking of my needs, but we all have them.  Bubbling away under the surface, we intuitively and naturally seek to meet our needs in ways that make sense to us. 

From a consumption perspective, where things get interesting is when companies and organizations play around with dials and buttons to gingerly and subconsciously press on our needs. We can find ourselves in compromising situations where we rationalize our spending behaviour because we feel like “need” the item, or because it’s simply a “great deal!”  

Regardless of what the items are, purchasing things can fill us with a sense of accomplishment. The act of purchasing, even things we know we don’t want or can’t afford, makes us feel good. And if you build in associations to our reference groups, it tickles our brains in the right way and makes us feel more alive or productive than we would otherwise. 

Cut to: somehow you’re a 39 year old woman (me, hi) standing in the middle of a cosmetics and skincare store with far too many products in your basket and bad taste left in your mouth.

The point is that we have strong needs and there are very smart people out there who subtly influence our behaviour as we venture out our front doors or scroll on our screens to purchase products.

Pause. Breath. Ask A Question.

As I’m reflecting on this and other experiences, I realize that there are powerful forces out there inviting me to part with my money at every opportunity. This is not to say that I will stop spending money, but I think this deeper understanding provides a bit of space.

With a small amount of space comes a tiny bit more awareness, and the ability to take a little baby breath and ask: “do I need or even want this?” 

I know for me, standing in the Vanity Cave last weekend taking a beat and asking myself a similar simple question allowed me to think through what I was about to do. It allowed me to reflect in the moment, and rather than justifying a purchase that took me further away from my goals, I was able to make a decision that better suited me.

Change Takes Time

For those who get caught up in chaotic purchases, who’s spending gremlin comes out more often than they’d like, remember that it’s easy to spend because it’s designed that way. The scarcity is designed, the deals are so good to get you to buy, and the pressure is real. 

If you’re like me, trying to spend less, remember that change happens slowly. Don’t judge yourself too harshly if you falter and buy something you didn’t really want or need (I *still* do it). It’s f*cking hard.

But with every small step in the right direction, it brings you closer to your goals.

We got this!