There I was, thinking through all car ownership options, getting more and more depressed. The realization of having to spend my savings on a new (used) car (mine is dying) slapped me in the face. This led me into a bit of a tailspin, questioning if my savings goal is all for not.
How could I NOT buy a car in this car-happy society? Used cars are basically the same price as new cars, should I just buy a new car and drive it into the ground over 20 years? Ugh, that’s so much money! What’s the point of saving if I have to spend money at every turn?? Ahhh!
Deep breath. Then I had a thought. What if I don’t buy a car (right this second), and somehow it all works out?
Which reminded me of this scene…
Believe it or not, I have doubts. Like many humans walking the earth, I have doubts and fret over life. Over the small discomforts (why do my q-tips seem to be full one day and then completely empty the next?) and slightly larger ones (ugh…whyyyyy all this insanity). Generally, I view things in a neutral/neutral-negative way. Which, can get pretty exhausting over time, to say the least.
We are constantly bombarded with fear and pessimism, conspiracy theories (apparently birds aren’t real), and the rabbit hole dumpster fire that is social media, can you blame me for my perspective, for my pessimism?
Regardless of the influence, how I choose to view things is my decision. But my perspective is also something I need to hold myself accountable for.
Perspective
Since I started this journey of saving half of my sweaty, meaty, moist cash, I’ve really wanted it to work out. And I really hope it does. Even though this is my hope, it’s difficult to believe it actually will happen.
Not unlike others (I’m sure), my brain fills in the blanks with ways I won’t reach my goal. Unknown and unforeseeable circumstances will arise and I’ll need to spend my savings. Something bad will happen and I’ll need to spend my savings. A monster will attack us from outer space and I’ll need to spend my savings (this is most likely, in my opinion).
Lately, my dying car has taken control of my brain (as referenced above). Life does indeed happen and unforeseen things pop up. And as my car inches its way closer to death, I just got more and more used to the idea that I’ll likely fail in my pursuit, I’ll need to spend my savings, because who functions in life without a car?
And then something miraculous happened. The phrase “What if it all works out?” popped into my head. I brushed the phrase away, no no brain, you’re wrong, it won’t. But my brain persisted. “What if it all works out?” Hmm, you’re cute brain, but nah, thanks for trying. “WHAT IF IT ALL WORKED OUT?!”
Since my brain was really working overtime for me to consider this idea, I considered it.
Applying Thoughts
Mulling this question over, I decided to go a step further, I decided to pull it apart and actually apply it to this and other situations. I engaged the idea and asked myself questions about it. I discovered that having a thought is all well and good, but it doesn’t mean anything unless you do something with it. I didn’t have anything to lose (except my savings), so I started to do thought experiments.
I asked myself: what would it look like if it all works out? What if I didn’t end up buying a car, what are my alternatives? If I started to use rideshare or really embraced biking to get around when needed, what would that look like? What would it feel like to meet different people in pursuing these or similar options? How could my life expand and change for the better (another facet of it all working out)? How could those components and new circumstances work out in their own right? How would it benefit me, my health, my well-being, my soul if it all works out?
I answered all these questions in the affirmative, with a positive perspective. I got really specific about what the benefits of “it all working out” might be.
And…holy f*ck.
As I went further and further into applying this perspective my brain started to feel more squishy…in a good way. Rather than embracing my neutral-negative outlook, I dipped my toe into the neutral-slightly-positive pool. It really started to rock my world. What if everything works out in the end? What if I reached my goals, what would my life look and feel like? What are the positive ripple effects that might be created as a result? What benefits would they have?
Really, it’s laughably easy to ask the question, what if it all works out? This type of wonderment exercise is great for a few seconds of mind expanding joy. But then it fizzles (at least it does for me). Actually forcing my brain to exercise the “what if” possibility and then making myself get specific about how that potential future could look, feel, smell, taste like, what emotions I might have and how positive outcomes might inform how I interact with others or the environment around me - well, it’s something that I never challenged myself to do before.
It’s not about focusing on unrealistic outcomes or developing unhealthy expectations and clinging onto them for dear life. It’s about creating space for the possibility that maybe the world is not going to shit, and that things might more or less work out. To keep an eye out for those positive things.
Expanding Possibilities
When you invite (force) yourself to think through different scenarios in a positive way, your brain expands. I don’t know how it does, I’m not a psychologist or an armchair one at that. All I can share is my experience, and my experience is that if I take a situation - even as simple as thinking through how a day might unfold - and run it through the thought experiment where good outcomes happen, my brain reacts differently. My thoughts became more expansive and fluid. I feel better, lighter. My world expands.
We are weird creatures. We think we know what’s going to happen. But if we’re honest with ourselves, we have no clue what will happen. We don’t know what will happen today. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Much less what will happen in a week, month, year or ten years from now. There’s as much of an opportunity for a day, event or goal to go right then for it to go wrong.
So why not think about how it will go right? Why not think, what if it all works out?
What if I don’t buy a car right away? How will I problem solve, and how might those solutions lead to wonderful and positive outcomes? What if I achieve my goal of saving 50% of my income? What positive outcomes might happen? What wonderful people might I meet? How will my world expand?
If you do something differently or set a goal and achieve it, how might it go right? How might your world expand?
Think about it.
We’ve got this!
Over the past many weeks of creating content and templates, I realize that to help sustain this passion project I would be grateful for your support!
For those with a dollar to spare, I’ve set up a Buy Me A Coffee account for folks to contribute to here and there. For those frugally focused, I would be incredibly grateful if you were to share my work with your networks and folks you think would enjoy my journey (via email, social media, or homing pigeon).
A special thank you to those who contributed to my Buy Me A Coffee or shared a post! Your support means the world to me - truly.
Whether you're able to contribute or not, I’m so glad you’ve joined me on this journey!
We are coming up to our one year anniversary of being a car-free household and I've loved it! I suspect I'm someone who falls a bit more into the category of assuming it will all work out - my spouse? Not so much! He had a number of concerns so it meant that we did a lot of research before making this jump - but he's been pleasantly surprised that, for the most part, it has all worked out. There have been hiccups along the way (like when the battery died on our carshare vehicle while we were out of town!) but for the most part it's been a net positive. Plus, to the point of this newsletter, we have been able to save a lot more money since we no longer have to buy car insurance, fuel, general maintenance, or deal with the cost (and inconvenience) of car breakdowns and repairs. Anyway, if you're considering trying out a car-free lifestyle, even for the short-term, I'm happy to answer any questions :)
If I had made the choices to live in the city I would definitely consider being car free. Living in the country it would impossible.
I hope you figure out what is best for you.