Yes, that’s right. It finally happened. I…did not hit my savings goal in April.
You may be thinking: but Jill, how the heck did this happen?! Your saving discipline is the envy of spenders like Nicolas Cage!
Well friends, sometimes you just don’t hit your goal. Sometimes unforeseen things happen in life (like your car dying). And sometimes (as in this case) you fall into a spending spiral so hard, you need the jaws of life to pull you out.
April, What A Month
April was a month of learning and adventure, aaaaand spending! Spending the way I did last month very much crept up on me. I’m still not entirely sure why I threw my budget out the window. It was like I was lulled into some sort of spending trance by a Greek god, Spend-a-lot-tous, or something.
I knew getting into this weird and wild year with my weird and wild goal I wouldn’t be perfect at saving the entire year - there’s no way! I am a lot of things, but perfect I most certainly am not. And though I have monthly targets, my goal is an annual one, so I’m not particularly gutted. I do have time to course correct and absolutely DOMINATE the next few months, I’m just perplexed as to how it all happened. But let’s to get into the particulars.
Yes, April was certainly full of surprises. There were no major price swings in my fixed costs or monthly purchased items, but some interesting events did occur.
As mentioned in my last post, my trusty steed - Bella - aka my car, died. As a result, I got a bike (yay)! I had budgeted for my bike (as this budget loving lady does), which was all good. I even got some cash back from my car, so that helped pay for my two wheeled new love. This was a lucky occurrence, but as with many new purchases, sometimes new things spur on more spending…
How It All Began
In case you didn’t know, in Ontario, Canada, you need a bell to make your bike legally roadworthy. Yup. What a win for judicial systems everywhere! As it so happens, my new bike didn’t come with a bell, so I needed to grab one, along with a few other accessories. (Of note: though bells are a legal necessity for bikes, a lot of biped humans wear some sort of noise canceling headphone while out walking along trails, or really anywhere. These headphones typically nullify any sound bike bells make. Which is SUPER nifty! In a lot of cases you end up scaring the living poop out of people with headphones on as you bike by. Laws are great! I digress.)
And, you know, after purchasing a few accessories for my bike and with summer coming up, I figured I have to get some new summer clothing to help me feel cool while on or off my ride.
And since I’m spending a few extra dollars here and there, you know, I should get take-out and get it delivered, and why not? I deserve it!
And, you know, my cousin’s wedding is fast approaching, and I do need something to wear for that. I should probably get that skirt and shirt I’ve been eyeing from that expensive French brand I really like. Even though it’s a ludicrous amount of money, it's all ethically sourced and of amazing quality! It’s fiiiine.
And, since I bought that outfit, I have to get some new makeup to complete the look.
And, well, because I got new makeup, I have to up my hair game, so I should probably buy….
As you can see, I got myself into a spending mindset - oh boy did I ever. I was justifying spending left, right and center. The spending gremlin reemerged and took over my body.
The “Have Tos”
It took me a few days to realize what I was doing and what I had done. What the actually f*ck?! I got so caught up with “have to” related purchases. As in: “I have to get this thing because I got that thing, and I can’t have this other thing without that other thing, I’ll have to get that too.”
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. However, this is the magic of marketing and the beauty of consumption, it’s oh too easy to click or nod and spend. I was so caught up with thinking of how I had to do X or Y, I completely forgot about what I was doing. It was like falling into an illogical pit of spending.
Luckily, I was able to pull myself out of that blackhole, but not before I spent more money than I had budgeted for the month. GROAN. As I sat back and started thinking through my behviour I started to realize that I am just like everyone else, a susceptible human with a consumption happy trigger finger.
Did I need all the items that I purchased? Oh gosh no. Did I need some of them? Well, yes actually I did.
After doing an inventory of all the things I bought, I realized I could return a few of the higher priced items. This would give me space to pause and think through what I ultimately need for some upcoming events.
Taking a few deep breaths, I was able to channel my energy into how to course correct while noting what took me off course in the first place. Personally, this was a big win for little ol’ me. I’m often so incredibly hard on myself for missteps or when I don’t hit goals (like many, I don’t like to lose). By affording myself some grace and figuring out what next steps I needed to take spurred me into action rather than dwelling on the things I did “wrong” or should have done differently.
How I See It
Even after writing this post I’m not exactly sure what triggered all my spending - if it was me just starting to say “yes” to things and I getting into a spending flow, or if I somehow felt deprived before and I wanted to let loose. I don’t really know. What I can say is that I’m a bit more aware now, and that making mistakes is not the end of the world.
I think we can move through this life and be really hard on ourselves for the decisions we make. We all have goals and aspirations, and when we don’t achieve them, it can do a number on our psyche. Sure, I didn’t reach my goal this month, I faltered, but learning is the greatest gift of failure.
Reframing how we see our behaviour, reflecting on our decisions (not dwelling on them) to learn from them, I think, is the most important thing we can do. From there, we can take the steps needed to act in ways better aligned with our values, and who we ultimately want to become in this world.
At the end of the day, it’s about learning and determination, going after what we really want - whatever that is.
And if you ever forget, just remember: we’ve got this!
Over the past many weeks of creating content and templates, I realize that to help sustain this passion project I would be grateful for your support!
For those with a dollar to spare, I’ve set up a Buy Me A Coffee account for folks to contribute to here and there. For those frugally focused, I would be incredibly grateful if you were to share my work with your networks and folks you think would enjoy my journey (via email, social media, or homing pigeon).
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Whether you're able to contribute or not, I’m so glad you’ve joined me on this journey!
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Well written... it's so easy fall off the beaten path sometimes...
It was great catching up with you again...
Good luck with the Frugality...